So, finally today I had the opportunity to return back home after a while in the university and usually at home, I watch drama on the TV that my family watches everyday. And when I finally got the chance to settle down and sit in front of the TV, I grunted when I found out that they were watching an Indonesian drama about a lady who was abused by the villagers resulting from an evil influence of another evil lady. I am usually OK with Indonesian movies especially the Islamic ones because sometimes they address issues that Malaysian films rarely do like the effects of tsunami, a journey of an Islamic scholar who found love, and so on. But this is one of those drama programs that have this lazy writing with the clichéd "good guy got abused then suddenly miraculously, bad guy got into accident and then begged the good guy to forgive him."
I mean, it's noble to give the message that patience is a virtue, but for the guy to be abused, just sits there and waits for miracles, and then suddenly the bad guy is involved in an unfortunate incident that leads to a miraculous change of evil personality to a saintly one is just too over-the-top for me. I mean, this is the classic example of just-world hypothesis - a concept coined by a social psychologist to describe the erroneous kind of thinking of someone who believes that good people get good things and vice versa. In another way of putting it, the world always works in a way where justice will always restore moral balance.
Just imagine, the good lady in the drama just went along with the abuse. When she was asked to take her small business elsewhere, she went away and took it elsewhere, when she was asked to move out of the village, she did just that and of course the bad guy was happy until the latter got into an accident and became poor while the good lady became rich and the role is reversed. Don't you think it's a an easy way out to solve a large-scale conflict? It's a lazy writing, isn't it?
Not to mention that you are giving out the ideas to those naive gullible individuals out there that patience alone can be enough to assure you a good life. No need for efforts or good planning to get what you desire in life. No need to do things you don't want to just because it's a requirement to get what you want. No need to be heartbroken because the the obstacles seem to be bigger than you can handle. Now I'm starting to sound like I'm ranting.
And then after the drama, suddenly there is a behind-the-scene for a new self-professed unique Malay film called "Strawberi Cinta". As if "Karipap-Karipap Cinta" is not a gag enough. Ugh....
Friday, December 7, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
We Are Actually Better Than Yesterday
Have you ever wondered how your life is in static state - not moving forward and not progressing. You believe that whatever you do, you'd be back to the beginning point, where you had zero. If you do ever feel that way, try to reminisce about your past, preferably a long time ago where the memory is so blurry it almost felt like it didn't happen. One way to do it is by singing in to your email and go to your very first email that you received when you first used that email (of course to do this, you need an email that you have used for a long time). You will be shocked at how different you might sound, how you could actually think, "Wow, is this me? I sound like an idiot!" And you quickly realize that you have gone a long way now - that you are actually better.
I did this just now and coincidentally I was wondering yesterday if my life was actually in a better condition now. When I was going through my emails, I was suddenly moved spiritually to go to my very first emails and boy, do I sound like a kid who asked about the availability of a certain candy in a candy shop. I sounded very immature, childish and, well, embarrassing. And then, I looked at my emails now, and I realized I have gone along way in my life journey.
I believe that even when you're not trying, your mind is psychologically engineered to be better. You are equipped with the ability to learn from your errors and mistakes, and be better than how you do it today. Just imagine when you are better when you don't realize it, how better could you be when you consciously put your efforts to it? This is the difference between successful and unsuccessful persons. They are mindful of his or her own self and are aware of what he or she is becoming, while others just sit back and wait for miracles.
I believe the first step to becoming mindful to your existence is to be thankful. I admit, sometimes I get lost in my own insecurity and feeling of inadequacy that I forget how lucky I am right now. I don't have to mention in what ways I am so lucky, but we all have our own things to be thankful for, especially YOU.
I did this just now and coincidentally I was wondering yesterday if my life was actually in a better condition now. When I was going through my emails, I was suddenly moved spiritually to go to my very first emails and boy, do I sound like a kid who asked about the availability of a certain candy in a candy shop. I sounded very immature, childish and, well, embarrassing. And then, I looked at my emails now, and I realized I have gone along way in my life journey.
I believe that even when you're not trying, your mind is psychologically engineered to be better. You are equipped with the ability to learn from your errors and mistakes, and be better than how you do it today. Just imagine when you are better when you don't realize it, how better could you be when you consciously put your efforts to it? This is the difference between successful and unsuccessful persons. They are mindful of his or her own self and are aware of what he or she is becoming, while others just sit back and wait for miracles.
I believe the first step to becoming mindful to your existence is to be thankful. I admit, sometimes I get lost in my own insecurity and feeling of inadequacy that I forget how lucky I am right now. I don't have to mention in what ways I am so lucky, but we all have our own things to be thankful for, especially YOU.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Malaysia Should Promote Itself Internationally
This is the statement of argument between my friend and I with my friend being the "pro" arguer and me being the "cons" arguer. It's not that I don't want my beloved country to be known internationally, but we have to be realistic right now. The right question we should be asking ourselves is, does Malaysia deserve to be acknowledged internationally?
Our debate is mostly centred around the promotion of Malaysian films, along with other cultures and traditions. I don't think it is a problem to promote our cultures, I'm sure a lot of Malaysian travelers to other countries have already done that well. I remember Aslam who went to Japan to study "promoted" kain pelikat, and my another friend who went to United Kingdom cooks rendang for his White friends, and a lot more other instances. But when it comes to our films, I gagged.
Of all the Malaysian films in 2011 and 2012, which film can you show oh-so-proudly to the international audience? I can say Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa and KL Gangster to have achieved international standard, but others I doubt so. My friend in USM forced me to watch Hantu Bonceng and it was the worst cinema experience in my whole life. It was literally the worst film I have ever seen. The writing was all over the place, the characters were irritating, and although the title gave the impression that there would be a "bonceng" (passenger) ghost, but it appeared around only one-third of the film and the rest was just hillybilly-ness resulting from lazy writing and terrible comedic attempts throughout the film. But what surprises me is that it actually made profit 7 times more than the original budget. Perhaps there was Zizan in it. But all of people I knew who went out of the cinema would complain how bad the film is.
Not just Hantu Bonceng, the Malaysian films have tries so hard, but failed miserably, to combine horror and comedy, and many other just focused on horror. Seriously, why Malaysian writers like horror so much?? Nothing wrong with horror, but there are other genres you know. Films like "Alamak... Toyol!", "Rasuk", "Tolong, Awek Aku Pontianak," made me feel embarrassed to be a Malaysian.
What I am trying to say is, consider other possibilities in terms of genre, writing direction, and target audience when producing a film. Not all Malaysians like comedy and/or horror, especially the ones terrible written!
Our debate is mostly centred around the promotion of Malaysian films, along with other cultures and traditions. I don't think it is a problem to promote our cultures, I'm sure a lot of Malaysian travelers to other countries have already done that well. I remember Aslam who went to Japan to study "promoted" kain pelikat, and my another friend who went to United Kingdom cooks rendang for his White friends, and a lot more other instances. But when it comes to our films, I gagged.
Of all the Malaysian films in 2011 and 2012, which film can you show oh-so-proudly to the international audience? I can say Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa and KL Gangster to have achieved international standard, but others I doubt so. My friend in USM forced me to watch Hantu Bonceng and it was the worst cinema experience in my whole life. It was literally the worst film I have ever seen. The writing was all over the place, the characters were irritating, and although the title gave the impression that there would be a "bonceng" (passenger) ghost, but it appeared around only one-third of the film and the rest was just hillybilly-ness resulting from lazy writing and terrible comedic attempts throughout the film. But what surprises me is that it actually made profit 7 times more than the original budget. Perhaps there was Zizan in it. But all of people I knew who went out of the cinema would complain how bad the film is.
Not just Hantu Bonceng, the Malaysian films have tries so hard, but failed miserably, to combine horror and comedy, and many other just focused on horror. Seriously, why Malaysian writers like horror so much?? Nothing wrong with horror, but there are other genres you know. Films like "Alamak... Toyol!", "Rasuk", "Tolong, Awek Aku Pontianak," made me feel embarrassed to be a Malaysian.
What I am trying to say is, consider other possibilities in terms of genre, writing direction, and target audience when producing a film. Not all Malaysians like comedy and/or horror, especially the ones terrible written!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Importance of Being Agricultural
Read this:
220++ billion?? I am surprised to see this. One who is familiar with Malaysia being a country that is packed with its own kind of food would be surprised and shocked to see the number. What do we import? Golden chocolate?
Disclaimer: This is not a political post nor would I want to mention or advocate for any political party in here. I'm just merely putting my agricultural and economic cap for this post.
I discussed this with one of economics lecturer yesterday (he is not my lecturer, but he is also a committee member for the upcoming International Social Work Conference 2012). And our conclusion made me open my eyes and see how important it is to have a part of your land to be reserved for agriculture. No matter how much industrial you are and rich you are, food will always come first. Just imagine, being a rich country, then suddenly the countries you import food from have a strike, or just don't produce food anymore, or you have a conflict with the countries leading the leaders to stop exporting, you are screwed. You would have to contemplate cooking your money into a soup.
What surprises me more is that we also import the food that we also can grow in here like rice, beef, and fish. This worries me, because with Malaysia trending towards an industrial nation, agriculture is gradually diminished. And the news I included above quoted that the things that we import are the things that are not "economical". Well, while some food cannot grow in tropical weather like Malaysia, others grow very well. And I don't think cocoa and coffee are unsuitable and uneconomical. I know a local farmer in my village who grows his own coffee beans and make his own coffee blend that he sells in local groceries.
This is where research is important. My economics lecturer claims that when it comes to research, Malaysia is way backward. I happen to agree. We need to have a strong research culture in Malaysia. Events like conferences should be more advertised and open for general public, rather than the academics or ressearchers or practitioners.
KUALA LUMPUR 25 Jun - Malaysia mengimport bahan makanan bernilai RM221.81 bilion sejak 10 tahun lepas. Timbalan Menteri Pertanian dan Industri Asas Tani, Datuk Mohd. Johari Baharum berkata, kebanyakan komoditi yang diimport tidak ekonomik untuk dihasilkan dalam negara kerana kos pengeluaran tinggi di samping iklim yang tidak sesuai. "Kumpulan komoditi makanan yang diimport adalah keluaran bahan makanan diproses, bahan makanan ternakan, buahan iklim sederhana, sayur-sayuran dan bijirin. "Antara makanan yang kita import ialah koko, kopi, teh, susu, gandum, epal, oren, ubi kentang, salad, beras dan tepung," katanya ketika menjawab soalan Dr. Siti Mariah Mahmud (Pas-Kota Raja).
Artikel Penuh: http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/Parlimen/20120626/pa_04/Malaysia-import-makanan-RM221.81b#ixzz2C9IbLOnc © Utusan Melayu (M) Bhd
220++ billion?? I am surprised to see this. One who is familiar with Malaysia being a country that is packed with its own kind of food would be surprised and shocked to see the number. What do we import? Golden chocolate?
Disclaimer: This is not a political post nor would I want to mention or advocate for any political party in here. I'm just merely putting my agricultural and economic cap for this post.
I discussed this with one of economics lecturer yesterday (he is not my lecturer, but he is also a committee member for the upcoming International Social Work Conference 2012). And our conclusion made me open my eyes and see how important it is to have a part of your land to be reserved for agriculture. No matter how much industrial you are and rich you are, food will always come first. Just imagine, being a rich country, then suddenly the countries you import food from have a strike, or just don't produce food anymore, or you have a conflict with the countries leading the leaders to stop exporting, you are screwed. You would have to contemplate cooking your money into a soup.
What surprises me more is that we also import the food that we also can grow in here like rice, beef, and fish. This worries me, because with Malaysia trending towards an industrial nation, agriculture is gradually diminished. And the news I included above quoted that the things that we import are the things that are not "economical". Well, while some food cannot grow in tropical weather like Malaysia, others grow very well. And I don't think cocoa and coffee are unsuitable and uneconomical. I know a local farmer in my village who grows his own coffee beans and make his own coffee blend that he sells in local groceries.
This is where research is important. My economics lecturer claims that when it comes to research, Malaysia is way backward. I happen to agree. We need to have a strong research culture in Malaysia. Events like conferences should be more advertised and open for general public, rather than the academics or ressearchers or practitioners.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Religiosity and Spirituality
Today, I had a discussion with one of my lecturers, and this lecturer has a pretty strong stand for the focus of religion in professional social work practice. He has made a lot of points that have their merits and his argument that social work practitioners nowadays might have abandoned the aspect of religion that might be a key to an effective intervention. But there is one statement that he said that made me want to argue back, "If people have a strong religious routine (e.g. going to the mosque/church, making a prayers, etc.) in his life, would he have all the problem that social workers have to deal with nowadays like homelessness and poverty?" That was when I thought that he might have become a little bit simplistic.
I cannot deny the importance of religion, and personally religion is important in my life. But growing up, we know that life is not that simple. Life is not a fairy tale where good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. Simply, life is not a fairy tale. I believe that being a professional practitioner in any field, one must know that a human's life is the result of multiple factors, and attempting to pin down events of an individual's life on a single cause might be a little bit too naive. Juvenile delinquency is a perfect example. Some "religious" people argue that if these youths have a strong religion, they would not resort to such lifestyle. Well, now answer this, why are there still some young people who come from religious family and still turn to be delinquents? This is because factors of juvenile delinquency is so many that I'm sure some of them have not been studied yet by researchers in this field.
This is when I would like to point out that there is a distinction between religiosity and spirituality. For me, religion is a source of spirituality, but it's not the only one. Have you seen some atheists that might be a better person than some people who claim to be religious? Yeah, that is because they have a stronger and better spiritual self. I would like to define religiosity as a way people have a relationship with a greater power who they depend on for strength and serenity, while spirituality is the faith, strength, and serenity that one has. So, in a way, spirituality is a result of religion, and it can be a result of multiple other things, like gratefulness, temporal happiness, or positive view on life.
Religion is, no doubt, one of the strongest source of spirituality which can help in overcoming life's challenges, but sadly religion has been a justification to some unfortunate things, and this is where we can see that religion is actually a tool, rather than a result. Events like terrorism, racism, ethnocentrism, discrimination and some other show us that some people could abuse the privilege of having a religion.
So, for me, you make a prayer to be stronger when you are facing a difficulty, NOT to miraculously and suddenly get out of your problem. The second one is why some people always blame religion when nothing good happens to them. This is because they don't understand that while we have pray, Islam, and I'm sure other religion too, urge us to make efforts and have tawakkal (surrender) for it. Sitting and praying all the time does not count as efforts, it is laziness. After all, who says that only prayers are ibadah (a religious act)? Islam has said that doing good things such as feeding your family, gaining knowledge, eating, doing sports, etc. can also be ibadah.
So, I am calling all of you, and me because sometimes I forget too, to never abuse the definition of religion that we have. Religion is only beneficial to you when you know how to embrace it in your life, but saying, "Oh, Islam asks me to do this..." when you want to go to a mosque for a month, leaving your family behind starving and penniless until your family is a suitable target for a welfare service in JKM, and your son rebels by using drugs, then, this might seem very religious, but this is not spiritual, this is not a good Muslim at all, or a Christian, or from any other religion.
Be moderate, as Mufti Ismail Menk said in a Fiqh Convention I attended earlier this year. Be religious, be spiritual, also consider worldly affairs in your life.
I cannot deny the importance of religion, and personally religion is important in my life. But growing up, we know that life is not that simple. Life is not a fairy tale where good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. Simply, life is not a fairy tale. I believe that being a professional practitioner in any field, one must know that a human's life is the result of multiple factors, and attempting to pin down events of an individual's life on a single cause might be a little bit too naive. Juvenile delinquency is a perfect example. Some "religious" people argue that if these youths have a strong religion, they would not resort to such lifestyle. Well, now answer this, why are there still some young people who come from religious family and still turn to be delinquents? This is because factors of juvenile delinquency is so many that I'm sure some of them have not been studied yet by researchers in this field.
This is when I would like to point out that there is a distinction between religiosity and spirituality. For me, religion is a source of spirituality, but it's not the only one. Have you seen some atheists that might be a better person than some people who claim to be religious? Yeah, that is because they have a stronger and better spiritual self. I would like to define religiosity as a way people have a relationship with a greater power who they depend on for strength and serenity, while spirituality is the faith, strength, and serenity that one has. So, in a way, spirituality is a result of religion, and it can be a result of multiple other things, like gratefulness, temporal happiness, or positive view on life.
Religion is, no doubt, one of the strongest source of spirituality which can help in overcoming life's challenges, but sadly religion has been a justification to some unfortunate things, and this is where we can see that religion is actually a tool, rather than a result. Events like terrorism, racism, ethnocentrism, discrimination and some other show us that some people could abuse the privilege of having a religion.
So, for me, you make a prayer to be stronger when you are facing a difficulty, NOT to miraculously and suddenly get out of your problem. The second one is why some people always blame religion when nothing good happens to them. This is because they don't understand that while we have pray, Islam, and I'm sure other religion too, urge us to make efforts and have tawakkal (surrender) for it. Sitting and praying all the time does not count as efforts, it is laziness. After all, who says that only prayers are ibadah (a religious act)? Islam has said that doing good things such as feeding your family, gaining knowledge, eating, doing sports, etc. can also be ibadah.
So, I am calling all of you, and me because sometimes I forget too, to never abuse the definition of religion that we have. Religion is only beneficial to you when you know how to embrace it in your life, but saying, "Oh, Islam asks me to do this..." when you want to go to a mosque for a month, leaving your family behind starving and penniless until your family is a suitable target for a welfare service in JKM, and your son rebels by using drugs, then, this might seem very religious, but this is not spiritual, this is not a good Muslim at all, or a Christian, or from any other religion.
Be moderate, as Mufti Ismail Menk said in a Fiqh Convention I attended earlier this year. Be religious, be spiritual, also consider worldly affairs in your life.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Year of Marriage
2012 - It's the year where almost 70% of people I know closely in my life got married/are getting married/are getting engaged/got engaged. It's also the year in my life where the matter of marriage seems to be heavily featured. Almost 80% of the conversations I had with them involved something about getting married. If my life were a TV show, this season would be themed on marriage.
Any one of my friends who read this might have known already that my heart is set not to get married. Aslam, my best friend (who is also getting married in December), told me that he had always wondered why he had such friends who seemed to be married with their career, and it included me. Career has always been an important aspect of my life, perhaps because it's the one thing that I'm sure I can own and hold on to very tightly in my life. If I am careful and strong in my grip, I'd just have career as the one thing that I am fully satisfied.
Then, another one of my friends, after I poured my heart out about all of the people I know are now married, asked me a rhetorical question, "So, isn't it now the time for you to settle down and find a wife of your own?" He has a point, but he doesn't know the whole story. I am not trying to makes excuses, but when it comes to finding a life partner, things are more complicated than usual - and I would like to admit that it might be more complicated than an average person's mission in finding a life partner.
What I need to do is figure things out as I venture through life. I just hope when I finally have everything figured out, it's not all too late.
Any one of my friends who read this might have known already that my heart is set not to get married. Aslam, my best friend (who is also getting married in December), told me that he had always wondered why he had such friends who seemed to be married with their career, and it included me. Career has always been an important aspect of my life, perhaps because it's the one thing that I'm sure I can own and hold on to very tightly in my life. If I am careful and strong in my grip, I'd just have career as the one thing that I am fully satisfied.
Then, another one of my friends, after I poured my heart out about all of the people I know are now married, asked me a rhetorical question, "So, isn't it now the time for you to settle down and find a wife of your own?" He has a point, but he doesn't know the whole story. I am not trying to makes excuses, but when it comes to finding a life partner, things are more complicated than usual - and I would like to admit that it might be more complicated than an average person's mission in finding a life partner.
What I need to do is figure things out as I venture through life. I just hope when I finally have everything figured out, it's not all too late.
Monday, October 15, 2012
One Extreme Hating Another Extreme
I was reading this news after being shown by one of the professors at my school and I just can't over how many there are idiots who just hate Islam in the name of "no violence", "freedom of speech," or even very specifically, "Islam is terrorism." I get it, terrorism is an unfortunate event and I myself seriously abhor that kind of extreme point making. No matter what religion you are, if you use violence to shove your belief down other people's throat, you are not and should not in any way affiliated with any religion - especially Islam because it is indeed a religion of peace.
The one thing I don't understand is that while these people seem to claim that they hate extremism, they are also on an extreme side, just the opposite. Burning the Holy Quran, making an offensive film about Islam, and the Prophet, insulting Islam on the ground of freedom of speech, drawing cartoons insulting Prophet, all of these are just ways ignorance works. While it is true that some people, no matter what religion they are, can be extremists and use extreme measures to force people to accept their beliefs which is a form of ignorance, but to generalize these people to others who are peace-loving and just plain innocent is another kind of ignorance. So, it's beating ignorance using ignorance, which wouldn't result well.
I am just surprised that after Blacks are finally accepted in the mainstream, and females are now treated as equal and males, and other minority groups who used to be treated unjustly are now progressing towards a new fair and balance modern world, bigotry seems to never pass a group of people who are called "Muslims". Because of an action of a few, Muslims in general are regarded as violent. Don't believe me? Go to websites that collect supposedly funny posts from various people around the world like 9gag and HugeLOL and see how people abuse the privilege of voicing their own opinions.
I just wish this stops someday. It's getting tiring each time...
The one thing I don't understand is that while these people seem to claim that they hate extremism, they are also on an extreme side, just the opposite. Burning the Holy Quran, making an offensive film about Islam, and the Prophet, insulting Islam on the ground of freedom of speech, drawing cartoons insulting Prophet, all of these are just ways ignorance works. While it is true that some people, no matter what religion they are, can be extremists and use extreme measures to force people to accept their beliefs which is a form of ignorance, but to generalize these people to others who are peace-loving and just plain innocent is another kind of ignorance. So, it's beating ignorance using ignorance, which wouldn't result well.
I am just surprised that after Blacks are finally accepted in the mainstream, and females are now treated as equal and males, and other minority groups who used to be treated unjustly are now progressing towards a new fair and balance modern world, bigotry seems to never pass a group of people who are called "Muslims". Because of an action of a few, Muslims in general are regarded as violent. Don't believe me? Go to websites that collect supposedly funny posts from various people around the world like 9gag and HugeLOL and see how people abuse the privilege of voicing their own opinions.
I just wish this stops someday. It's getting tiring each time...
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The First Step
You probably have heard this advice on procrastination, "take the first step then you'd find yourself following through..." This is my own version of the advice, but you get the idea. This is quite true. Often time when I am back from a holiday or a long trip and return to school/work, I would find myself very difficult to restart my routine and work. When I went to Sabah for 6 days and returned this week, I took 4 days to finally restart the thesis-writing process that I stopped before going there. Usually, in the past, when this happened, I took advantage of the "take the first step" advice and I usually would follow through. Once I took the first step, I found myself feeling guilty if I lived a day without doing even a little of writing. But, now I realize there is a new matter to handle, how do you get to do the first step? Honestly, I can't remember how I did it in the past.
But, one theory says that we keep delaying the inevitable because of our fear about how much to be done and that we might figure out something along the way (Barth, 2011). This makes sense, because when we are triumphed by the feelings that we might not get anything done because there's too much of them, we secretly wish for a miracle. Maybe someone might come in our way and be kind enough to offer help. Maybe in a day or two, we are told by our boss that the work is no longer necessary to be handed in. Maybe that, maybe this. But, you know deep in your heart, it's not true - well, it's more likely than not to the untrue.
Barth outlines several suggestions as to how we can take the first step. First, she says that perhaps our anxieties to take the first step might be warranted after all. Listen to your fears and listen to what your mind is telling you. But if it is something you have to do now, then, ask yourself, what constitutes the 'real' first step in terms of your tasks. For example, for me to start writing my thesis after stopping for a week, opening my laptop might not be a first step, but rather 1/10 of the first step. What I need is to open the document and write the first sentence. I did that and suddenly the motivation to start writing pours in and I find myself writing for 3 pages in 2 hours.
Barth also emphasizes on supports by your family and friends. Of course this is true too. But for me, what is more important is that you know your tasks well and you know what you should do to be able to start. It's understanding your tasks and get familiar and be acquainted with it.
Reference:
Barth, F. D. (2011). Taking the First Step. Extracted from Psychology Today - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-couch/201107/taking-the-first-step
But, one theory says that we keep delaying the inevitable because of our fear about how much to be done and that we might figure out something along the way (Barth, 2011). This makes sense, because when we are triumphed by the feelings that we might not get anything done because there's too much of them, we secretly wish for a miracle. Maybe someone might come in our way and be kind enough to offer help. Maybe in a day or two, we are told by our boss that the work is no longer necessary to be handed in. Maybe that, maybe this. But, you know deep in your heart, it's not true - well, it's more likely than not to the untrue.
Barth outlines several suggestions as to how we can take the first step. First, she says that perhaps our anxieties to take the first step might be warranted after all. Listen to your fears and listen to what your mind is telling you. But if it is something you have to do now, then, ask yourself, what constitutes the 'real' first step in terms of your tasks. For example, for me to start writing my thesis after stopping for a week, opening my laptop might not be a first step, but rather 1/10 of the first step. What I need is to open the document and write the first sentence. I did that and suddenly the motivation to start writing pours in and I find myself writing for 3 pages in 2 hours.
Barth also emphasizes on supports by your family and friends. Of course this is true too. But for me, what is more important is that you know your tasks well and you know what you should do to be able to start. It's understanding your tasks and get familiar and be acquainted with it.
Reference:
Barth, F. D. (2011). Taking the First Step. Extracted from Psychology Today - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-couch/201107/taking-the-first-step
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sweet Revenge
How do you know when a revengeful act is worth it? Well, that's it, you don't. For me, revenge is like any other desires like eating, sleeping, or shopping. You think that doing a desirable act would make you feel good, but afterwards, you end feeling even worse than before. Consider an example when you're fasting in Ramadan. When it is time for you to buy food to break the fasting, you think that you would be able to finish all those foods, and they look very delicious. But as soon as you have crossed your limit, and you realize there are still more foods left, and you feel so bloated and so close to vomiting out all the excess in your stomach - you realize, it was a bad decision after all.
I've had my fair share of revengeful act in my life, and the exact same thing happened. None of them made me feel good afterwards. But, what makes the pre-revenge feeling so strong? Why even after learning again and again that it doesn't make us feel good, we cheat away and still be able to convince ourselves that "this time, it is different"? Psychologists from Germany, Ernst Fehr and Simon G¨echter, suggested that revenge (like eating and sleeping and having sex) is an evolutionary behavior. It is evolutionary because, 1) without it, it is assumed that the society will collapse, 2) we grow up watching/being taught at/believing/being brainwashed by our environment asking for retribution everytime a transgression happens. It's like, when something bad occurs and we don't do something to "correct" it, there's something wrong with us. Although it can be a bad thing sometimes, we still keep it as part of our value system.
So, when it's part of your life, you do it because you believe it's okay to do it, until you realize you do it excessively that it is not okay anymore. It's like eating, again. You eat because we eat to survive, then you eat and eat and eat until you realize you should have stopped 4 plates ago. You try to get revenge, and try and try and try, until your acts have gone so far that it doesn't only hurt the person you have revenge at, but also yourself and possibly other people you care about.
So, I guess it takes a strong and really determined person to know when to stop before it gets worse. The willpower needs to be trained to taught so you have the vigilance and the wisdom.
I've had my fair share of revengeful act in my life, and the exact same thing happened. None of them made me feel good afterwards. But, what makes the pre-revenge feeling so strong? Why even after learning again and again that it doesn't make us feel good, we cheat away and still be able to convince ourselves that "this time, it is different"? Psychologists from Germany, Ernst Fehr and Simon G¨echter, suggested that revenge (like eating and sleeping and having sex) is an evolutionary behavior. It is evolutionary because, 1) without it, it is assumed that the society will collapse, 2) we grow up watching/being taught at/believing/being brainwashed by our environment asking for retribution everytime a transgression happens. It's like, when something bad occurs and we don't do something to "correct" it, there's something wrong with us. Although it can be a bad thing sometimes, we still keep it as part of our value system.
So, when it's part of your life, you do it because you believe it's okay to do it, until you realize you do it excessively that it is not okay anymore. It's like eating, again. You eat because we eat to survive, then you eat and eat and eat until you realize you should have stopped 4 plates ago. You try to get revenge, and try and try and try, until your acts have gone so far that it doesn't only hurt the person you have revenge at, but also yourself and possibly other people you care about.
So, I guess it takes a strong and really determined person to know when to stop before it gets worse. The willpower needs to be trained to taught so you have the vigilance and the wisdom.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
We See What We Want to See
So, yesterday I was having a chat with my neighbor. But first, let me describe you how he is. He is energetic, very well-traveled, is now considering getting married, about to finish his masters, and quite intelligent. He has black hair, and quite a thick beard, and he is from Maldives. He has a small figure and likes to laugh. When I first met him when I just registered for a room beside his, I had this feeling that he was in his 20's. Because of that presumption, he looked young, added with the young-related characteristics that I described above. But yesterday, when we were talking about passport, I was taken aback when he finally revealed his age after all this while, "I am actually 34..."
I couldn't be more surprised. Not at my false presumption, but at how quickly his face and stature changed before my eyes. Right after he told me that, I suddenly could see his 34-year-old skin, some of his gray hair, and he suddenly talked like his age. I couldn't unsee what I saw last night and the young impression that I had on him earlier was gone forever. So, I thought, it's amazing how we can trick our brain into seeing what we want to see.
This is the difference between sensation and perception. Sensation is registering the data that you get from your environment into your senses. Perception is more of a brain's work - it is to translate those data into a more meaningful form. So, those descriptions I mentioned above, those are the data of this guy registering into my eyes, I saw that. But to believe that he was in his 20's, thus making him look younger because of my belief, that's perception.
When I took Intro to Psych in my bachelor's, our class did not make Sensation and Perception as part of our reading. But the little reading I did when I was teaching it in one university, made it worthwhile to know this basic thing that happens to all of us. How amazing Psychology is?
I couldn't be more surprised. Not at my false presumption, but at how quickly his face and stature changed before my eyes. Right after he told me that, I suddenly could see his 34-year-old skin, some of his gray hair, and he suddenly talked like his age. I couldn't unsee what I saw last night and the young impression that I had on him earlier was gone forever. So, I thought, it's amazing how we can trick our brain into seeing what we want to see.
This is the difference between sensation and perception. Sensation is registering the data that you get from your environment into your senses. Perception is more of a brain's work - it is to translate those data into a more meaningful form. So, those descriptions I mentioned above, those are the data of this guy registering into my eyes, I saw that. But to believe that he was in his 20's, thus making him look younger because of my belief, that's perception.
When I took Intro to Psych in my bachelor's, our class did not make Sensation and Perception as part of our reading. But the little reading I did when I was teaching it in one university, made it worthwhile to know this basic thing that happens to all of us. How amazing Psychology is?
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