When we talk about development, sometimes we talk about either the development in us is either abrupt or subtle. We can notice what we have been experiencing, like the growth of mustache, maturity on voice, or most clearly, puberty. And some other aspects of development, we just have to take a while, in order to realize that we're experiencing them.
One of them is wisdom. Wisdom is considered as one of the liquid development of human beings, liquid as in it's constantly changing and developing, upwardly or downwardly. Your whole life you may find yourself being like a complete idiot, not knowing what's best for you and others, making the wrong decisions, and saying the terrible things to others.
I believed that I am a late bloomer, or worse, what they call Peter Pan Syndrome when an adult is stuck inside, waiting for us to just have the guts to get a hoe and dig all that sands that blocks our development. It takes years for me to just head out and feel like an adult. Well, it takes enrolling in a Masters program for to feel like an adult! But all this while, I never felt that wisdom has been liquidizing in my mind (lame!) and no, seriously, I just find myself growing up, wisdom-wise.
My point is, you're an intelligent being, I believe every individual is an intelligent being. When you're experiencing your experience, your mind records what happens and if mistakes happen, your mind will unconsciously record them and teach you that the mistakes aren't supposed to be repeated. You just let the nature takes its course, and don't feel bad because if you think Peter Pan's not growing up, think again. He also learns from his experience.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Six Degrees
Stanley Milgram, the psychologist who did the obedience experiment, who shocked the world by finding that people's readiness to kill others due to authority is higher than expected, also conducted an experiment that everyone in this world is connected to each other via at least other six individuals. He named his theory Small World Phenomenon. To make it simple, you want to connect a certain Fredo Prego (names are totally fictional) and you might know Ali who knows Fatimah, who knows George, who knows Derek, who knows Stephanie, who knows Crystal, who finally, knows Fredo Prego. So, it means there are a distance of 6 persons between you and Fredo Prego.
To detail it out, you might know Ali who studies in the same college with you, Ali knows Fatimah who is his sister, Fatimah knows George who is Fatimah's friend when she was an exchange student at the US, George knows Derek, who is his childhood friend, Derek knows Stephanie who works at a certain publishing company, Stephanie knows Crystal, who is her husband's sister, and finally Crystal knows Fredo Prego who is Crystal's boss in her workplace.
The implication of this is how small the world is, and if you pay a deal of concentration and effort, you can actually get connected to almost anyone in this world. Do the experiment yourself. If you have a facebook, try to find any name that is quite alien in your life. Try to click on one of his or her friends, then one of the friends of his or her friends, chances are you might just stumble upon a person who you actually know. Try it several times and see what the average number of people who connect you and the person in the beginning point.
To detail it out, you might know Ali who studies in the same college with you, Ali knows Fatimah who is his sister, Fatimah knows George who is Fatimah's friend when she was an exchange student at the US, George knows Derek, who is his childhood friend, Derek knows Stephanie who works at a certain publishing company, Stephanie knows Crystal, who is her husband's sister, and finally Crystal knows Fredo Prego who is Crystal's boss in her workplace.
Look at this map...
The implication of this is how small the world is, and if you pay a deal of concentration and effort, you can actually get connected to almost anyone in this world. Do the experiment yourself. If you have a facebook, try to find any name that is quite alien in your life. Try to click on one of his or her friends, then one of the friends of his or her friends, chances are you might just stumble upon a person who you actually know. Try it several times and see what the average number of people who connect you and the person in the beginning point.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
No Youtube!
I guess this is why it is an APEX university...
There goes my internet life...
This is 'it' trying to load...
...and this is 'it' finally just couldn't...
There goes my internet life...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Adulthood
I've settled down and now I'm comfortable with the fact that I'm staying and studying in USM. Although the impression that I'd like to give was my decision was the right one, but I couldn't help but to feel scared, fearful about this whole thing. Really scared. The first moment I set my foot on USM, I already felt like things were going to be hard. Taking the course I'm not interested in, being in an unfamiliar place and blending in quite a remote environment, I never thought I'd end, even eventually, being an adult.
Finally, it took my mother's call to make me realize what I should be feeling instead of fear. My mother told me how she kept thinking about me and finally one of her own children actually moved out of the house, of the place, of the "safety zone," in a sense that shows I'm achieving something. She couldn't be prouder, and you know what, I shouldn't be too. It takes gut, as Wilhelmina said to Betty when the latter decided to quit her job at Mode, to do that. It takes gut to move out, live independently and start your journey as a full-time adult, not leeching off your parents.
So, from now on, I not just have to to train myself to be good in the field of Social Work, I also have to work very hard to succeed as an adult, because well, I'm an adult now.
Finally, it took my mother's call to make me realize what I should be feeling instead of fear. My mother told me how she kept thinking about me and finally one of her own children actually moved out of the house, of the place, of the "safety zone," in a sense that shows I'm achieving something. She couldn't be prouder, and you know what, I shouldn't be too. It takes gut, as Wilhelmina said to Betty when the latter decided to quit her job at Mode, to do that. It takes gut to move out, live independently and start your journey as a full-time adult, not leeching off your parents.
So, from now on, I not just have to to train myself to be good in the field of Social Work, I also have to work very hard to succeed as an adult, because well, I'm an adult now.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
USM
Just want to say, USM is much better than I initially thought. The people here are very friendly and they are helpful. My classes will start on Monday next week which is on 12th July. It's going to be a subject I'm not really interested in but who knows what's going to happen in the future. I'll try my best and I really hope you readers will take some time to pray for my success in this place.
Oh, by the way, I'm residing in a one-person room so I am very so happy! Since when I was studying in IIUM, I had been dreaming to stay alone, because it's much easier. And now it feels so calm and relaxed. Hope it stays this way.
That's it my random thought for today. :)
Oh, by the way, I'm residing in a one-person room so I am very so happy! Since when I was studying in IIUM, I had been dreaming to stay alone, because it's much easier. And now it feels so calm and relaxed. Hope it stays this way.
That's it my random thought for today. :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Roads Less Traveled (A.K.A. I'm Taking the Safe Road)
First, it started out as hopes, and who doesn't like hopes? Everybody likes hopes. Hopes give warmth and comfort, and they make us want to see the next day, because well, the hopes might come true.
Then there were challenges. Growing up, we were all taught that winds make a strong tree, or what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, or any other claptraps that just intend to make us a risk-taking person. Challenges are supposed to make a person to be braver and stronger.
Then there was a time we fell down. As usual, everybody keeps saying the obvious, that we should get up and continue with the journey. The destination is just around the corner.
Then there were times when it was very dark and the only choice to go is the safe road. But, everybody keeps saying, repeating what's been repeated, we should take risk. Take risk! So, I decided to go through the darkness.
Then, it's the destination. After the bumps on the road, falling down, blinded by unlightedness, I reached to the destination. It turned out to be nothing but a dead end.
Finally, I had to go back, to the point where I had to choose between the risky road and the safe road. After all, the safe road is the better road after all. Except, it took time to go back to the beginning and in the process, I might die eaten by the wild bats, because I had used up all the resources.
Gratefully, I reached, and I had a little injury because of bats' bites. I'm healing and now I'm taking the safe road.
Then there were challenges. Growing up, we were all taught that winds make a strong tree, or what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, or any other claptraps that just intend to make us a risk-taking person. Challenges are supposed to make a person to be braver and stronger.
Then there was a time we fell down. As usual, everybody keeps saying the obvious, that we should get up and continue with the journey. The destination is just around the corner.
Then there were times when it was very dark and the only choice to go is the safe road. But, everybody keeps saying, repeating what's been repeated, we should take risk. Take risk! So, I decided to go through the darkness.
Then, it's the destination. After the bumps on the road, falling down, blinded by unlightedness, I reached to the destination. It turned out to be nothing but a dead end.
Finally, I had to go back, to the point where I had to choose between the risky road and the safe road. After all, the safe road is the better road after all. Except, it took time to go back to the beginning and in the process, I might die eaten by the wild bats, because I had used up all the resources.
Gratefully, I reached, and I had a little injury because of bats' bites. I'm healing and now I'm taking the safe road.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Powerful Me
People have been always asking, if you can have one super ability, what would you choose? There are a variety of cool superpowers to choose from - namely telekinesis, telepathy, levitation, time-space manipulation, and a lot more. And for me, my answer would be premonition. Imagine Nicolas Cage who can see 2 minutes in advance prior to the present in Next, or Phoebe Halliwell in Charmed, or Cordelia Chase in Angel; Aren't they awesome?!
Let's say you have the ability to know the future, wouldn't it be easier to just figure almost anything? Wouldn't it be even much easier to avoid making a screwed-up and twisted mistakes and choices in the future? Currently, I am in a dilemma of whether choosing a scholarship that offers furthering studies in Turkey with an allowance every month that can only cover a tenth of my tummy space and another scholarship that has a very nice monthly $$$. But of course it's never perfect. The scarily low scholarship would allow me to do something related to what I've been dreaming of to do - Forensic Psychology and the one with a nice bump in allowance requires me to do Social Work.
This is when I really really really hope premonition can aid my decision making process. Will I survive at Turkey? Will I develop love for Social Work? Will a foreign language be a blockade in my success in a Masters studies? Will I ever finish my Masters if I do something I'm not interested in? Will I be able to find other revenues for my daily expenditure in Turkey? Will I... Will I... Will I... There are a lot to ask and to answer. But then, I have to wait for 2 years to know them, to figure out what's best for me, and at that time, of course it's too late.
What do I do?
Disclaimer: this post is strictly fantasy- and imagination-oriented.
Let's say you have the ability to know the future, wouldn't it be easier to just figure almost anything? Wouldn't it be even much easier to avoid making a screwed-up and twisted mistakes and choices in the future? Currently, I am in a dilemma of whether choosing a scholarship that offers furthering studies in Turkey with an allowance every month that can only cover a tenth of my tummy space and another scholarship that has a very nice monthly $$$. But of course it's never perfect. The scarily low scholarship would allow me to do something related to what I've been dreaming of to do - Forensic Psychology and the one with a nice bump in allowance requires me to do Social Work.
This is when I really really really hope premonition can aid my decision making process. Will I survive at Turkey? Will I develop love for Social Work? Will a foreign language be a blockade in my success in a Masters studies? Will I ever finish my Masters if I do something I'm not interested in? Will I be able to find other revenues for my daily expenditure in Turkey? Will I... Will I... Will I... There are a lot to ask and to answer. But then, I have to wait for 2 years to know them, to figure out what's best for me, and at that time, of course it's too late.
What do I do?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Drama Addicts Anonymous (DAA)
Surprisingly, there are a lot people than we thought, who have the idea that life isn't as exciting without drama and scenes. That's why we have this term, 'drama queen' or 'drama junkie' to describe the people who can't get 'turned on' by anything unless there is a fight, major scene, conflict, or anything that would fit as a criterion of drama.
Too bad, at one point of my life, I was a little bit like that. I don't know why, and I wasn't even aware of it, but I used to be a fan of the idea that friends are closer when they undergo conflicts, which now I know is very untrue. If you have heard the term Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, our inner belief can affect our outer world, which happens especially when we are not noticing that the effect is taking its place. My point related to self-fulling prophecy is that when you always expects conflicts in life (or when you subtly want conflicts), conflicts will happen, even when you're not asking for it, at least obviously.
If there's one thing I learn about conflicts, it is that they usually become true and end things. Friendships don't blossom on fights, relationships don't grow on fights, and even family ties can be broken by misunderstandings. When at first, we just want to have a little movie scene, where two people are in conflict, then at least one party will realize the truth or just got the hidayah to make amends, they make up and become closer. But, sadly, the making amend part can be skipped and the broken relation remains broken, and unfortunately, for the rest of your life.
I used to write about friendship - Life and Humans: Little Friendships - where it doesn't need big things to happen, because friendship is a million little things, it's a million little communications, exchange, and memories that are most likely little things. And I can't stress LITTLE enough.
This post is especially dedicated to this one person I really care deeply for. I am sorry for my behavior and I should stay with you in this time of stress.
Too bad, at one point of my life, I was a little bit like that. I don't know why, and I wasn't even aware of it, but I used to be a fan of the idea that friends are closer when they undergo conflicts, which now I know is very untrue. If you have heard the term Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, our inner belief can affect our outer world, which happens especially when we are not noticing that the effect is taking its place. My point related to self-fulling prophecy is that when you always expects conflicts in life (or when you subtly want conflicts), conflicts will happen, even when you're not asking for it, at least obviously.
If there's one thing I learn about conflicts, it is that they usually become true and end things. Friendships don't blossom on fights, relationships don't grow on fights, and even family ties can be broken by misunderstandings. When at first, we just want to have a little movie scene, where two people are in conflict, then at least one party will realize the truth or just got the hidayah to make amends, they make up and become closer. But, sadly, the making amend part can be skipped and the broken relation remains broken, and unfortunately, for the rest of your life.
I used to write about friendship - Life and Humans: Little Friendships - where it doesn't need big things to happen, because friendship is a million little things, it's a million little communications, exchange, and memories that are most likely little things. And I can't stress LITTLE enough.
This post is especially dedicated to this one person I really care deeply for. I am sorry for my behavior and I should stay with you in this time of stress.
I am sorry...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Beauty of Failure
Growing up, we always heard the idioms, phrases, and sayings that tell us how failures should mean to us. Failures, despite of the negativity the word brings and denotes, has some perks most of us fail (pun intended) to understand.
Many of the older people I met, among their favorite advice for the younger generation is that we do not repeat the mistakes of people of the past. Those mistakes were frowned upon, sure, but they serve as a way to tell us that doing a certain way can result in the failure in the first place. A post in Psychology Today has a very inspiring way to tell how to look at failure. It's not by changing the name, a failure is still a failure. Denying its concept will not help in any way, but embracing it as a part of your life (Rubin, 2010) and treating it as a platform for success (Barth, 2010).
I have been baking cheesecakes since ever. I will not deny that my first attempt of baking this expensive, delicate, and spoiled (as in manja) savory dessert was somehow disappointing. And being costly, my mother wouldn't want me to waste another sum of money spent on a spoilt (as in rosak) cake. Of course I would choose to listen, I mean just listen, but I knew if I took some risks and found what was wrong, I would figure out the correct way to make sure the next attempt would turn out good.
So, I took some amount of money, big enough to empty half of the space, and bought the ingredients for cheesecake. I tried to bake it again, this time with more careful 'obedience' on the baking instructions, the weight of each ingredient, and any other extraneous variable such as the heat of the oven and all. And you know what the turnout to be? It was awesome! I changed the flavor to orange and it tasted just like it is supposed to be. I think it can compete with Secret Recipe.
My point is, without wanting to accept failure, and without learning from it, success is very hard to come out to the surface. I can say, success is the son of failure.
Listen to this song (Bette Midler - The Rose), there is one part that says, the soul who is afraid to die, can never learn how to dance. Perfectly said.
Many of the older people I met, among their favorite advice for the younger generation is that we do not repeat the mistakes of people of the past. Those mistakes were frowned upon, sure, but they serve as a way to tell us that doing a certain way can result in the failure in the first place. A post in Psychology Today has a very inspiring way to tell how to look at failure. It's not by changing the name, a failure is still a failure. Denying its concept will not help in any way, but embracing it as a part of your life (Rubin, 2010) and treating it as a platform for success (Barth, 2010).
I have been baking cheesecakes since ever. I will not deny that my first attempt of baking this expensive, delicate, and spoiled (as in manja) savory dessert was somehow disappointing. And being costly, my mother wouldn't want me to waste another sum of money spent on a spoilt (as in rosak) cake. Of course I would choose to listen, I mean just listen, but I knew if I took some risks and found what was wrong, I would figure out the correct way to make sure the next attempt would turn out good.
So, I took some amount of money, big enough to empty half of the space, and bought the ingredients for cheesecake. I tried to bake it again, this time with more careful 'obedience' on the baking instructions, the weight of each ingredient, and any other extraneous variable such as the heat of the oven and all. And you know what the turnout to be? It was awesome! I changed the flavor to orange and it tasted just like it is supposed to be. I think it can compete with Secret Recipe.
My point is, without wanting to accept failure, and without learning from it, success is very hard to come out to the surface. I can say, success is the son of failure.
Listen to this song (Bette Midler - The Rose), there is one part that says, the soul who is afraid to die, can never learn how to dance. Perfectly said.
References:
Barth, F. D. (2010). Turning Failure into Success. Retrieved on June 9 2010 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-couch/201005/turning-failure-success
Rubin, G. (2010). Enjoy the fun of failure. Retrieved on June 9 2010 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/201006/enjoy-the-fun-failure
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Prejudice is Helpless!
Ugly feelings are out there. No matter how deep we hide them, no matter how much we deny their very existence in our sole hearts, and no matter how much we resent their stepping in our own mental zone, but they are there. When we go around, we always see people denying the ugly feelings that they have; like hating cute babies (because babies are supposed to be loved), despising minorities (because equality is supposed to be believed), feeling like our mother's yapping has been too much and annoying (because we should be an obedient son or daughters), or disfavors own country (because there is what they call 'patriotism'), and many more.
Lately, I am attacked with these feelings where if I express them out loud, people will be gasped with terror, with a face like I just ate a child. Especially when one of my close friends just admitted something that made me rethink about our friendship status. The whole night, when we were talking about it, I was acting fine, because, well, as a friend, I was supposed to understand him. But, more and more the time passed by, I couldn't help but to feel very much prejudiced towards him.
It is one ugly feeling that I have, whose existence most people would strongly deny, because it's an ugly feeling - It's disgust. It's disgust towards something I'm not supposed to...
Or am I?
Lately, I am attacked with these feelings where if I express them out loud, people will be gasped with terror, with a face like I just ate a child. Especially when one of my close friends just admitted something that made me rethink about our friendship status. The whole night, when we were talking about it, I was acting fine, because, well, as a friend, I was supposed to understand him. But, more and more the time passed by, I couldn't help but to feel very much prejudiced towards him.
It is one ugly feeling that I have, whose existence most people would strongly deny, because it's an ugly feeling - It's disgust. It's disgust towards something I'm not supposed to...
Or am I?
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