It may be a dream afraid of waking up, or it may be a dream coming to realization in the next morning.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Disease of Loneliness

There is a woman in her mid-thirties, who is a single mother with children. After her divorce, she has been relentlessly searching for men over the internet through chatting messengers. From an observation, her choice of men are usually the kinds that are adventurous and controversial, not in a good way. Until today, she has been dating with several men including a husband of someone else's, a fraud, and a drug dealer. Because of these men, she abandons her responsibilities as a mother, a daughter, a sister and a teacher at a school where she works at.

However, if living a life without men. she can actually be a good mother, daughter, a sister, and a teacher. For some reasons, when there is a man in her life, she becomes impulsive and out of control. She always leaves her children until late night, skipping her work days, and even lying to her parents. It is like adolescent years all over again. Because of men, she has done some serious things like burying a spelled material obtained from a witch doctor, having sex with multiple men, and even now there is a pregnancy scare.

When she was young, she is described by her parents to be rebellious and always sneak out at night to be with her friends. Among her siblings, she was always the one with the troubles. Because of being too conformant to her friends too, she dropped out of school of did not finish her last year. The worst she did after her parents exerted some control on her was attempting to commit suicide by slitting her wrist. Since then, her family became very careful at what they were going to say or do to her.


What do you think about the story above? About the description of the woman above? A perception of a layman might judge her as an "insane, deadbeat mother," or "a woman stuck in her teenager mind." But for me, it is the disease of loneliness that makes her the way she is. From what I can see, she is in a constant need of connecting with someone, especially a man - and she could go to great length to make sure that she stays being connected. 

The thing is, she seems to be very clinical, with the impulse problem and suicidal tendency, so I ask myself, is there in any ways that loneliness can become clinical rather than a temporary condition? The loneliness or the need to connect with someone this woman is feeling is the kind that reaches the extreme line. While she is capable of being a good mother, sister, daughter, and at her work, she still could alter her personality to the most opposite degree, and abandon everything, just to be with a guy.

But all in all, I believe that loneliness is a very dangerous disease and nobody ever deserves to feel lonely. So, I'm calling everyone out there, don't take loneliness for granted. If you ever feel lonely, reach out to someone, or if you find anyone of your friend or family members show the signs of loneliness, then reach out to him or her. Loneliness is a disease that can grow out to a more serious unfortunate event, at which life can be at risk because of it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Death of Wang Yue

Have you ever heard of the case of an accident where Wang Yue, a Chinese little girl, who was run by two vehicles and it was reported that more than 15 people were passing by but none offered help? You can watch it here.

No, no, don't blame any nationality over this accident, blame the humanity, especially a certain psychological part of it that actually had been observed since 1964, the year where a woman named Kitty Genovese was tragically killed while the people in a building nearby, her neighbors and witnesses to the murder did not do a thing to help her. Since the murder of Kitty, social psychologists had acknowledged the threat of Bystander Effect, the condition where help is less likely to be offered when diffusion of responsibility is not clear. According to the theorists, Bystander Effect means that the more people are present in an emergency case, the less likely help is offered to the victim/patient/person in need.

Why do you think happened in the video above? My hypothesis is that, the market was a crowded place (although it did not seem crowded, but reports said that it was a busy place), so the accident was witnessed by a lot of people. When we are with people, we usually determine what happen by looking at the action of others. So, let's say there were 15 people in the accident place, each one of them looked at one another, wondering why nothing was done. When they couldn't answer the question, they resorted to the answer, "Maybe it is nothing..."

It is a tragic case, as was the murder of Kitty. I don't doubt it might happen to anywhere else in the world if the people are not educated on the threat of Bystander Effect. So, I'm making this entry, hoping that the few of you guys who read might understand what is happening and can do a little change.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Thought on War

So, I was in Turkey for 12 days and this time, my friend, Aslam and I tried to be more courageous by traveling farther than our comfort zone (well, not really courageous as in we used a travel agent to do so), and we chose Canakkale as our choice of city to visit. But I'm not here to talk about my travel experience, although I might put it in here and there to support what I am going to say. My post here is largely about war, it's because what Canakkale is and what the city is known for.

So, Canakkale (or more specifically Gallipoli) was a place where War of Gallipoli between Turkey and ANZAC (Australian and New Zealand Army Corps) took place. We were told by the tour guide that this war was one of the bloodiest because of the large amount of casualties including young soldiers and medical officers. I'm not an expert in the history, but upon visiting the cemeteries of both the ANZAC and Turkish casualties, I was starting to see the reality of war and its effects.

My mind was occupied with the issue of war the rest of the day and I also had a debate about the necessity of war with one of the staffs at the hostel we were staying in. The staff was adamant on the necessity of war and said that war is the most suitable way to defend ourselves when our right is stripped from us. but I thought otherwise. Despite how large the mission is, I still believe there is an alternative to war, but of course I'm too small to be issuing my opinion because wars were/are the result of something much larger.

When I looked at the cemeteries and the words that people who loved the deceased wrote on the tombstone,  my heart broke. Despite the existence of the people they love, soldiers still decided to go out and love their country more (at which I do not say is wrong). Their patriotism was very strong perhaps because there was a strong leader among them that gave them the strength to do so. I respect these soldiers fully despite their religion and nationality.

But I hope in the future there is a way for wars to be prevented. Humanity is so much more important than the need to shed any blood. But if wars were still to happen, then...