It may be a dream afraid of waking up, or it may be a dream coming to realization in the next morning.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Big V

I was just appalled to the extent of needing to write this entry, after I saw many young people (doesn't make me old though) just somehow 'hate' virginity. For them, virginity is a source of humiliation, inexperience, shame, and illiteracy. Losing the big 'V,' according to them, is something that's highly valuable for them.

I get it, I was once a teenager too. When a peak of hormones production just kick your conscientiousness, you have got nothing in mind other than experimenting. It's worsened by the fact that now the world is going toward 'less-cloth' era, where beauty is in the eye of the naked beholder. We are blitzed with the images and representations of people with countable strings of threads on their body. We have got nowhere to spend the surplus of hormones to, which could be very very manageable, if we are educated with it.

You see, for those of you who're still a virgin, appreciate it. Value it. Feel it and believe that it's the best thing that's ever happened to you, that being a virgin is the best thing that's ever happened to you. I'm grateful that it's not too late to me too. I'm grateful that I still got the chance to choose someone special whom I love to lose the big 'V.'

With all these STD's, HIV, and other unmerciful diseases that just cling on human's system once they got in, you got enough reason to keep it timely and right. The diseases are not just the problems, it's how people see us, how the family would see us. How the people we love see us. Do you think it's ever going to be the same like before?

Remember, do not rush, do not hate it. You're lucky you're still a virgin. I know I feel lucky.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

My Friend is Going to Japan

Finally, all this emotion-wrecking process of application, rejection, false hopes, genuine hopes, hearts-to-hearts, insecurity, faith, he is finally accepted. One of my friends will finally depart to Japan for his postgraduate studies and it is his dream. Come to think about it, how nice is it when your dreams just materialize before your eyes? It must feel wonderful.

Several months before today, we (me and my friend) both keep expressing our ambition to further our studies in our respective dream country. He'd say that he dreamt of going to Japan and I replied that I really wanted to go to Turkey. We both got the chance, we both had the opportunity. But isn't it funny that only one stood a chance to see the chance turning into real event?

This entry is just me trying to express my feelings of how unfair this life could be. But then, there must be a reason, a flaming wisdom why I need to stay in here, studying something that I'm not really passionate at. Maybe time will tell.

By the way, to the friend in question, you know how happy I am for you. Please be successful in your studies there. Dreams are hard to achieve and obviously you deserve this. Congratulations and please keep in contact...

Monday, August 16, 2010


I remember this one piece of serenity prayer that says,

"God, give me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..."

You see, courage is a big deal. I am prompted to write about this after I saw one small child, when I was about to perform my tarawih for the night, who wander around in the mosque just to shake people's hands and swab a little perfume onto it. He'd do it to almost everyone in the mosque, thinking that what he did might make a difference, to make people smell good.

Well, he did. He did make a difference, people seemed to be happy looking at him. He actually brought up good vibe around the mosque. He had the courage to make a difference, he had the courage to swab perfume onto people's hands.

So, a little reminder to both of you and I, do not ever occupy yourself on the issue of amount, just do it. Donate 50cents or treat your friends a nice meal in the iftar. Anything. You can always start with a small step. Then you'll be ready to make a big difference insyaAllah. Ameen...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Ramadhan is coming again. Mixed feelings are felt. Of course there is excitement, because this is the one month we can be cleansed away from the unwanted, physically and spiritually. And there is nervousness, especially when this time of year, I am furthering for my masters, doing all the difficult assignments and all, can I be up for the challenge? There is also a sense of repentance, the feeling like we want to stop it all, the things that bring us lower in slave status in His eyes.

My father, as usual, says the advice again, "it only comes once a year, so take advantage of it, make a full use of it." It's an obvious advice, really, but how many of us actually take it by heart? Come to think about it, it's true, Ramadhan only comes once a year, and yet people still manage to take it for granted, most probably because the blessings and advantages of this month are intangible. We mostly spend the nights at mamak, rather than take half an hour to perform the tarawih, at least. We prefer to feed the desire of the mouth, rather than just keep on starving for only 12 hours. We continue to gossip and backbite, rather than take a time to stop and enjoy the silence.

It's a reminder for you and me, mostly me. I hope that this Ramadhan, it will witness the better us, a better slave, son, friend and student. Take advantage of it, you know you understand this.