Movie Review 12 - Our Family Wedding

Lucia (America Ferrera) was getting married with Marcus (Lance Gross). Miguel (Carlos Mencia), Lucia's father, was trying to 'reheat' his marriage with Sonia (Diana-Maria Riva). Bradford (Forest Whitaker), Marcus' father, was juggling between the high-school girls he slept with with his ex whom he was still in love with, Angela (Regina King). When Lucia was heading back hometown, she was nervous because she had to drop a bomb, actually three bombs, because she knew her father wouldn't like the news that she dropped out of college, that she never took a chance to tell him about Marcus, and that she and her boyfriend were living together. When she was home, she only managed to tell her dad that she was getting married. The forced tie between the Black and Mexican family brought both to have some unconcealable tension and hostility, especially between the two dads.

Meanwhile, Sonia felt like her marriage with Miguel had become distant since now a car the latter was working on would be 'sexier' than her. The condition got even more disappointing when she overheard her daughters talking about how unhappy she was. She told Miguel how she felt and how it made him sad, and Miguel reacted by reliving the couple's first dates, a romantic ride. On the other hand, although she had already divorced Bradford, she was still friends with him, and took care of him. When in one night, the situation seemed to feel like when they first got married, Angela thought there was still a chance, until she walked in on Bradford with a young girl in the house. But Bradford knew that Angela was the only woman he needed in his life, so he professed his love all over again.

With all the craziness happening in the wedding planning, and the tension between both families, Lucia and Marcus had their own conflict when the secrets Lucia kept from her father affected her relationship with Marcus. Bradford said to his son that whenever things felt wrong, he needed to acknowledge it and stop before it's too late. Marcus then felt like Lucia wasn't in the relationship as much as he was, so they broke off. But, Lucia's sister said that when they were little girls, they could bicker and become best friends the next hour, but in adulthood, conflict should be resolved with genuine apology. So, Lucia went over to Marcus' and apologized, and both made amends.

This movie makes me feel bittersweet about marriage. Although I felt very annoyed with the seemingly incessant messes that occurred throughout the film, I feel like there is something we can learn from it. First, Bradford's on-and-off relationship, or sexy friendship, with Angela, which raises the question, does rushing into marriage lead to a rushed divorce? Bradford always said to his son that marriage isn't as wonderful as people might overstate, but he himself knew that if he hadn't rushed to getting divorce, he'd still have a chance to fix things in his marriage. Rushed marriage might not sound good, but as does rushed divorce. Once you get in, give your every effort to make it a wonderful thing.

Second is Miguel's cold marriage with Sonia. This might be what people have always said over and over and over again everywhere in the world, that marriage means suicide. They believe that marriage will never be as magical as when a couple is in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, which for me is because of "what's rare is valuable" thing. When we're not married to a person, we feel like it's exciting to touch him or her, to say "I love you" a lot of times, or to even sleep together, because it's not allowed. When something's not allowed, we feel like it's sweet to do those things because it's 'rare', but once we get married, and have access to the once-forbidden stuffs, then we get cold. Again, we need to make efforts to make a marriage as good as it used to feel. Be romantic everyday.

Third is Lucia's romantic relationship with Marcus that had been affected by the two families' massively different cultures and traditions. When these two cultures clashed, the couple became disheartened, which made Marcus felt like Lucia not telling her father that she was dropping out of college as a sign that the wedding wasn't a good idea. The thing is, signs might be helpful in showing us what to do to a person, but it's way not important way to decide that something as big as wedding is off. Again, I can't emphasize enough, it's about effort, effort, and effort. When you feel wrong about something, you don't run away from it, you take a moment to think about what makes it feel wrong and what you can do to make it feel right. If it can feel wrong, than it can feel right. It all comes down to dealing with decisions, rather than dropping it off of hands.

As a wise man (Betty's father in "Ugly Betty") said,

"Being an adult is not about making the right decision, it's about dealing with the decisions you make"