How to Love Yourself

We have always heard that in order to be loved, we need to love ourselves first. So, how do you love yourself? I don't think this is an easy thing to do, because saying, "I love me, I love myself" again and again seems a little inconclusive. You can do something everyday but it doesn't mean you love it, right?

Ken Page, in his article in Psychology Today titled, "How To Love Yourself First", says that self-affirmation can work, if it is also supported by affirmations given by others. According to this author, what we need in order to love ourselves is to see that other people also appreciate a certain part of ourselves that we feel insecure about. For example, you are insecure about your shape. You keep saying you are beautiful again and again and again. But if at the same time, others say that you have a less-than-attractive shape, or that you could be much better in terms of weight, or similar words implying that you are not beautiful, your self-affirmation can be defeated.

This, again, emphasizes the importance of searching for good friends who can simply accept us the way we are. Ken Page says that, while it is not wise to create a false self, it is understandable when various other people reject our true self and then we feel forced to create a false one. More and more we feel and are rejected, we keep our true self inside, creating a wall between people and us. The trick is to find a person who you can feel absolutely safe with sharing your true identity. But for me, this is the hardest thing to do. No wonder despite self-affirmations, some of us keep falling in the pit of self-hatred so often than not.

Sharing our true identity with a trusted person can be a tricky thing to do. 1) How to find that trusted person? What if the wall we have built is so high, even ourselves can't tear that down? How can we invite another person to see our true self then? 2) What if our true identity is something of a cultural taboo? What if sharing our true self will make it more likely for people to abhor you, even your family?

It turns out to be more difficult than we thought to love ourselves, right?